The Story of a Yellow Jacket, an Ambulance Ride, and Uber

April 27, 2016

What a long, strange trip it was…

Here I am, catching a little cat nap in my favorite comfie chair when I was awoken from my dreamlike slumber by what felt like Tinkerbelle jabbing me with a mini fire poke in my tush!  I jumped up, still groggy but frantically searching for the source of my discomfort to find no Tinkerbelle in my living room.  After running to the mirror to inspect and see that I was in deed attacked by something, I went back to the living room with my glasses on and my senses in tack.  Imagine my surprise when I discover the source of my discomfort was not Tinkerbelle and her mini fire poker but rather an angry yellow jacket!

I was sitting stinging my bum… so how the heck did he get there anyway? The odds are just as likely that Tinkerbelle would be the culprit.

Being a self-respecting Southern girl, I have had more than my fair share of bee stings so initially I was annoyed more than anything.  That is, until I started to display signs of an allergic reaction.  (More odds… what are the odds of developing a dangerous allergic reaction to bee stings at middle age?)  I was petrified to sit back in a the same chair so I perched a first on the fireplace hearth, and then on a thoroughly inspected leather chair to monitor my symptoms.  I called the Nurse Line and they suggested I call my doctor.  Of course, my doctor does not return emergency pages between midnight and 8 o’clock in the morning.  So, when my tongue started to swell and my doctor’s office had yet to return my call, I knew it was time to go to the emergency room.

With spouse away on business and a heart rate through the roof I made the call to 911 and requested my very first ambulance ride with Fairfax County Fire and Rescue Department.  I must say, it was quite an experience and one for which I am eternally grateful.

Between the time I called 911 and EMS arrived on the scene, my tongue grew so large I could hardly speak.  Thankfully, I had an efficient team led by Lieutenant Mark run an IV, give me medicine, check my heart, pulse and other vitals all the while driving me across town to Virginia Hospital Center.  A side benefit to coming in an ambulance, you go right to a room and bypass the waiting room completely!

Once Lieutenant Mark briefed my awesome nurse Abbie, the team at VHC took over and saved the day.  The doctor checked me out, gave me lots of shots, prescriptions, an epi-pen, and after only 3.5 hours I was ready to head home.  Not a bad stay in an ER if you ask me.

Except… I came by ambulance.  So, with my hubby away and the rock star nanny keeping the little one company I downloaded the Uber ap and Ubered home!  He was waiting for me out front by the time they were done discharging me.  Who knew it could be so easy?  And aside from the fact the car was a “smoking permitted”, it was cleaner than any taxi I have ever been in and it cost 25% less!

What a night of firsts! You really cannot make this stuff up! If wordpress did hashtags, #StrangerThanFiction would be an appropriate one here!

PS.  When I told Jellybean what happened while she was sleeping, she was miffed that she did not get to go on an ambulance ride with me!  The joys of being young!


Weightloss by Oatmeal, the follow-up

January 13, 2012

As you may remember, back in on November 3 I posted about the secrets to losing weight with oatmeal and surmised that based on traditional math I should have lost four pounds by changing my morning breakfast to oatmeal with no toppings.  It would seem that the four pounds I lost went out and made friends because instead of losing four pounds I have managed to gain four pounds.

It would seem that it takes more than one workout a week and oatmeal for breakfast to not gain weight over the holidays.  It is with great reluctance that I now trade in my 200 calorie latte for a boring little 25 calorie cup of coffee with cream.  Back to the math…

200 – 25 = 175 calorie per day savings

3500 / 175 = 20 days to lose a pound

Let’s hope this, along with picking back up the second day a week at the gym, and having all of the holiday food in the past will help me shed a few pounds by Valentine’s Day!

The Real Way to Lose Weight Eating Oatmeal

November 3, 2011

After looking at the scale this morning it became clear to me that working out twice a week was not enough to make a dent in the now two-year old fat from the pregnancy and broken thyroid.  The gym has done wonders for my energy level and I have nice muscles forming under all of the fat but muscle covered blubber still looks like blubber.

So with renewed interest I have decided to re-tackle my diet and cut calories through food choices and portion contract.  Getting things off I the right foot, when I stopped at Starbucks this morning for my 190 calorie latte, I decided to try the 140 calorie oatmeal  instead of my regular 350 calorie veggie and egg sandwich.  

Math: 350 – 140 = 210 calorie savings.

Being that it you need to cut 3500 calories to lose a pound I could lose a pound roughly every 16 days (about the number of days a month I visit Starbucks for breakfast).  Feeling quite good about myself and already have a pound a month on the way off, I went to the office and focused on losing a pound a month with oatmeal instead of the yummy aroma of a hot breakfast sandwich.

 Imagine my shock when I open my bag to enjoy my healthy breakfast to see a half full container of  mush.  I guess I forgot to mention I have never really been a fan of oatmeal except paired with chocolate chips in cookies… oh well, my pound a month is still winning out!  Then I see that if you add the tiny little pack of nuts you add 100 calories.  And the healthy raisins… another 100 calories, then if you toss in the brown sugar too you have a whopping 390 calorie breakfast! 

New math: 350 – (140+100+100+50) = -40

So this healthy little low-calorie breakfast now has 40 more calories that the satisfying and yummy breakfast sandwich…Plus you would eat twice as many carbs and only save five (5)  grams of fat!

Trying to remain focused on the long-term goal of losing a pound a month, I tucked the raisins away for a tasty treat later and only had 1/3 of the brown sugar bringing the caloric intake back down to 255 calories for a modest savings of 95 calories.

Someplace between spooning the first bite from and feeling it slide down my throat I realized with only a 95 calorie savings it would take two months to lose that pound and I felt my motivation begin to dwindle. 

 This is where you save though… if you don’t like oatmeal, which I apparently have not acquired a taste for in my 40+ years, you throw over half of it out thereby cutting the meal down to 127.5 calories or a 222.5 calorie savings. 

Final math:  350 – 127.5 = 222.5

Yay!  The pound a month is on its way off again and it this rate it will come off a day earlier. 🙂